Following the article in last Monday's Gold Coast Bulletin in which the 25-year-old reporter confessed that she was only beginning to get a handle on adult responsibilities, despite having reached the age of majority 7 years earlier.
Horrified by the lack of maturity which seems to be a modern trait in young adults, Nora delved back into the dusty archives to find Q&As in the Conde Nast tome, The Bride's Guide (printed 1972) to see if some wisdom of the past may inspire today's young women. This is the first of a series.
Dear Nora,
Q: Mine may sound like a very trivial worry but it is beginning to spoil my happiness.
My fiance is sweet and kind, but his home background is rather different from mine. He doesn't speak very well and annoys my parents by what they call bad manners.
My mother says that I am so infatuated with him that although I don't mind now, it'll drive me mad in the future. I am ashamed to say that, secretly, his habits do annoy me sometimes.
What should I do? I don't want to lose him but should I point out his mistakes?
A: Any girl who's continually pointing out "mistakes", as you call it, is asking for trouble.
Can you imagine anything more infuriating for a man? This situation is very delicate because, to be honest, your mother may be right - it could drive you mad later, especially as you admit that you get niggled now.
People do change to some extent and your fiance will probably pick up some of the small courtesies like opening doors, etc., particularly when he observes other people doing them. But this is something that should be gradual; it can't be forced and it very much depends on the sort of man he is. You'd be very unreasonable to expect a dramatic overnight change. It sounds as though your parents are letting him see that they are annoyed, which creates a very resentful atmosphere.
Good manners aren't a question of class and I'm afraid you'll have to accept him as he is and be prepared to build a life together. Any comment from you must be tactful, or better still, light-hearted.
If you really care so much about the social differences, you must be prepared to think very seriously about whether you really can be happy together.
Fancy a drink?
Try this classic from The Bride's Guide:
Cardinal
1lb (500g) lump sugar
6 oranges
1 1/2 pint (1 litre) pineapple juice
6 bottles sweet white wine
ice
Rub the lump sugar with orange rind and put in a large bowl with juice from oranges, pineapple juice and wite wine. When sugar has dissolved, serve cold with ice.
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