Agony Aunt Nora, answers your most vexing questions in love and interior decorating.Such as how much alcohol needs to be consumed before this dining table design (featured in Conde Nast's 1972 Creative Entertaining book) looks attractive and whether a girl who doesn't much like her fiance ought to get married.
Well the answer to the first is a complicated equation involving the colour saturation multiplied by the strength of the alcohol.
The answer to the second is below:
Q: I'm getting married to a marvellous man who has everything in the qualities of patience and security. He loves me more than I love him and has put up with a lot of my moods which I just cannot seem to be able to control. Sometimes I feel very close to him, at other times it is as if he is a stranger and I just don't “fancy” him sexually. He makes me feel almost physically sick and I cannot bear him near me.
Do you think that these problems are normal before marriage?
My fiance is very kind and bears with me but I sometimes feel it can’t go on like this. Will these problems sort themselves out in the security of marriage?
From the start my fiance was never physically attractive to me but I few to love him for the kind of person he is. People say there are many qualities besides sexual attraction in marriage and this comes with time, but I do worry about this.
A: It is very difficult to advise you about such an important decision without the opportunity of meeting you and discussing it. From various things you say, though, I would advise you to postpone the date of your wedding long enough to sort out your very troubled feelings. There are times during most engagements when girls feel that they may be making a mistake. There are many qualities, as you say, which are important in marriage, but if you feel deeply that your fiance is unattractive to you sexually, I would consider breaking off your engagement at least until you have sorted out this problem. The depth of one’s sexual feelings varies, and one may not always feel tremendously exited by the man one loves. But it is disturbing that you should find him physically repulsive and I do not think that marriage will necessarily change this.
If it is at all possible, I suggest that you talk the matter over with a helpful older friend or advisor at your local Marriage Guidance council. It may be that you have persuaded yourself that you love your fiance because he is such a patient and charming man. Marriage is a very close contract between two people and it is important that basically you are relaxed and happy together. It is so important not to think of your wedding day as an end in itself or that you must continue with the engagement just because there has been so much planning.
Wedding Bells Cocktail recipe
3/4 oz cherry brandy
3/4 oz vermouth
3/4 oz gin
3/4 oz orange juice
Shake well over ice cubes in a shaker, strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and serve.
1 comment:
In general "physically repulsive" would be a telling sign when considering marriage!
Although, there is an odd little phenomena that I have long experienced: extraordinarily attractive people become less so, with greater exposure, often morphing into something quite bland and annoying in fact; while the less perfect grow more attractive over time.
The latter doesn't seem to have worked in favor of the perplexed young lass in question though.
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