Too Shy, Shy

Agony Aunt Nora answers your questions about life, love and how to make a great martini (questions and answers sourced from The Bride's Guide (1972)).

Table Manners Question: Take a look at the picture on the right from Creative Entertaining (Conde Nast 1972). See if you can find the one thing on the dinner table that would never be countenanced today.

Give up?

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Q: I am to be married in six weeks time. I am looking forward very much to getting married, but am dreading the day I should most enjoy because I am so self-conscious and nervous. When I got to a party or gathering of some kind I shake from head to toe. I feel that everybody is looking at me and when I bend forward to drink, my hand shakes and I go red. I feel I want to get up and run out of the room. I would like to so some entertaining when we are married but I think I shall be too shy to do so. I sure people think I am unsociable and I would so love to be more confident.

I have asked my doctor for a tranquilizer on my wedding day because I am nervous about everybody looking at me, and she told me to go back to her just before and she would see what she could do. I don't shake when in the company of my own family so I know it's only when I'm in strange surroundings. If you could give me some advice I would be so grateful.

A:* Your problem is by no means unusual. You are very shy and self-conscious and it is not surprising this distresses you so much. A tranquilizer would, I am sure, help you during the particularly busy and anxious time of getting married. It would be a good idea to get one fairly soon and see its effect before your wedding day. There are several varieties and they all have slightly different actions.

When you go to your doctor, try to explain to her how you feel as you have in your letter to me. This is not something you can overcome quickly and easily by yourself. Tell your fiance about it as well, and with their sympathy and support, you will probably find you reach a greater understanding of your feelings, and can accept yourself as you are. Once you have done this, you will start to gain in confidence.

Drink of the week
Zombie
20ml light rum
20ml golden rum
20ml Jamaican rum
20ml over-proof rum
fresh lime juice
fresh passionfruit juice
fresh pineapple juice.
sugar syrup
Pour the first three rums into a cocktail shaker and add a large dash of lime juice. To this add two large dashes of both other juices and a large of sugar syrup to taste. Shake the mixture sharply and strain into a Highball glass filled with ice. Float a measure of over-proof rum on top and finish with any elaborate garnish.

*The issue of shyness is something that we wouldn't generally mock but with a generation of rampant self-esteem enhanced Gen-Y bridezillas, bashful is not an attribute one would ascribe them.

Table Manner Answers: When was the last time you saw a selection of cigs displayed at a well set table?